Getting rid of my timeline

I'm not going to lie to you, but my year didn't start out the way I had planned. Getting my heart broken and dealing with sadness and depression isn't my ideal way of living.  The months of February and March were filled with days of me trying to stay positive and pretending that I was fine. I had a week off from work in late March and I spent the whole week in bed with horrible body aches and fever.  That was it... my body was crying out for help and needed attention.  This was my first sign that I needed to take care of myself and stop kidding myself.

Wise Words

The month of May has been filled with reflection and focusing on what's important. I started to look at things differently.  For some strange reason, the universe has been pointing me to focus on the things that make me happy.  I've met a couple in their early 50s at a family friend's wedding recently who shared with me some words of advice to live by.  What they told me was, "Live your life the way you want because people have the misconception that marriage is all about fun and games and it's not. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do.  So, enjoy your single life while you still have it." It was a very empowering conversation and many other things were shared with me about their lives and how this couple encourages their own daughters to find happiness for themselves and not in another person.  The lady shared with me that she had gotten married in her early 20s to her high school sweetheart and they have been married for close to 30 years.  Her only regret is not having been able to travel and see the world before she had her family.  

On my drive home from this evening, my mom and I reflected on the words that the couple shared with us.  And for the first time in a very long time, my mom said something that gave me the power to let go of something I've been carrying with me for over 15 years!  She inspired me to give up the pressure I have placed myself when I created a mental timeline for my life.  What was it? 

Timeline

Since I was 16 years old, I placed in my head a timeline in how I wanted to live my life. It included the following milestones: 

 25 years old--Finish my Master's Degree and have a career

26--Have a wonderful boyfriend

 28--Get engaged to this wonderful boyfriend

30--Get married and buy a home

32--Have my first child

35--Have a second child

I'm 32 years old now and I'm no where near any of these.  I never realized how this timeline was keeping me depressed and making feel unsatisfactory with my life. It made me feel that my little achievements with my work and my personal life weren't anywhere near the expectations I had placed on myself years ago.  

Letting Go

I strongly believe that all things happen for a reason. Maybe this is my time to enjoy the things I truly love and be around the people I truly care about. What I know for sure is that since making this realization of where my major source of unhappiness was coming from, I can finally take control of my own life and I'm starting to feel "lighter" for not having this timeline in the way. I have finally given myself permission to do what I want to do and this summer, I'm going to hold a farewell ceremony and getting rid of my timeline once and for all.

As always, thank you for reading, 

Mayra :)