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Getting over a break-up Part 1

Your Guideline for the First Two Months 

 First things first: I'm sorry it ended and you're going through a tough time but I'm sure that there is a good reason why it ended.  My best friend, Yoly once told me, "Things don't happen to you, they happen for you."  So, pull yourself together and check out this guideline I created.  What makes me qualified to write a post like this? I'm currently going through this stage and I've been keeping notes so I can share them with you.

Cry it out for a week until you get tired of crying and tears no longer come out. Although you're going to feel great sadness in your heart, this feeling will actually last for a while longer. Why? Because your heart is not a rock and you actually have thoughts and feelings. It only shows that you actually cared about him when you were together.

Transfer all your phone pictures of him and you as a couple to an external hard drive.

Remove everything that reminds you of him from your room/house/apt.  (Give away, donate, storage, return, sell)

Remove him and his friends and family from social media. Seeing him on social media hanging out with other people will only make you feel sadder and heartbroken because you're going to feel that he didn't give a rat's ass about you and the relationship.

Talk to your close friends and other people you trust and turn to them for support (keep yourself busy)

Create a list of things to want to accomplish while you are single

 Go on a trip with your best friend(s), a family member, or by yourself

Surround yourself with positive messages and affirmations, happy songs, happy/funny movies and comedy specials (Kevin Hart is hilarious! Watching his specials on YouTube saved me)

 Say "yes" to a fun invitation from a friend.  Buy a new outfit and show it off.

Bonus


Please refrain from doing the following:

  • Don't think that the world is over because it's not! The world keeps spinning and you should also keep going.
  • That you won't ever find anyone like him again.  I hope that's true, actually.  You're going to find someone 1000 times better than your ex-boyfriend
  • Don't give up on your goals and dreams.  This is the time to move forward and the perfect time to accomplish everything on your Bucket List while you are single.
  • Don't date anyone less than 90 days of being single.  Give yourself time to heal.
  • Refocus and get to know yourself again.  We (as women) tend to lose ourselves in the relationship.  Now that you are single again, you can learn more about yourself without any distractions.

DO:

  • Pick up a new exercise routine
  • Find a new route to and from work/school that doesn't involve too many areas where you and the ex spent a lot of time in
  • Do all the things that you loved to do before your relationship started.  Coloring is always fun and can be relaxing right before the hand cramp kicks in. :)
  • Plan a trip near or far and go on your own or with your friends
  • Learn something new (a new language, pick up a new hobby, or take a fun learning class like cooking a certain kind of food, pottery, or anything that grabs your attention)
  • Join a Meetup group from your area. This will serve three purposes: 1. You get to do something fun 2. You get to meet new people. 3. You actually have a good excuse to leave your house and have plans.
  • Read positive affirmations online, or better yet, use Pinterest to create a board of positive and uplifting sayings  
  • Journal your thoughts if you don't feel like talking to someone about them 

I'll come back to writing more about this in the future.  

Stay strong, 
Mayra :) 






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